Nurturing Compassion

Compassion is a practice. It is NOT a linear process where you achieve it one day and can stop practicing. It requires intentional work, nurturing over time. Compassion asks us to be with what feels most uncomfortable, even painful. All of this can feel scary. What I love most about compassion is not only that it teaches us to be with our hardest experiences and feelings, but compassion also teaches us the skills we need to process those feelings in healthy ways so we can bounce back to feeling like ourselves again. So we can feel resilient. This month, I want to share one simple way you can nurture compassion within yourself.

Nurturing Compassion

One of the fundamental principles of compassion is embodiment. We need to be in our bodies, to feel armed with the skills we need to live compassionate lives. And while the effort seems intense, the payoff is worth it. There is a growing amount of research that tells us how living compassionate lives benefits our emotional, mental, and even physical health and well-being.

So how do we embody compassion?!

First, we need to commit to facing our hardest emotions. Not running from them, not suppressing them, not avoiding them. We need to get comfortable sitting with discomfort at various degrees. To start, it could be sitting in silence with someone and not breaking it only to fill an uncomfortable void. Another example could be sitting with your child or student who is experiencing a really difficult situation and you want to make their hard or sad feelings go away. When you make a conscious choice to be with discomfort, so much processing happens and your body doesn’t hang onto the emotional baggage.

The next thing you can do is connect with your physical heartbeat at least once a day and breathe slowly and deeply as you do this. One of the largest and most vital nerves in the body, the vagus nerve, runs through the heart. The vagus nerve is responsible for regulating the parasympathetic nervous system, and we know it is activated when we breathe slowly, practice mindfulness, and connect with our physical heartbeats. In this way, we are embodying an emotional regulation skill through consistent, daily practice.

This month, practice two ways to embody compassion. One, make a conscious choice to be with discomfort and pain, your own and others. Two, connect with your physical heart and take deep breaths every day. Notice how this helps you embody emotional regulation.