When I was growing up I learned about MLK, but I didn’t take time on the actual holiday to celebrate his legacy. Since I began studying mindfulness and compassion more deeply, and then became a mother, I recognized the importance of paying real reverence on these “days off”. Not just seeing them as a day to do whatever, but a day to honor history and people who paved the way to a better future. But, these conversations can’t only happen on these days.
The urge to control and fix our children’s emotional reactions is deeply ingrained, in some form or another. Rather than repeating the pattern of emotional control, suppression, and shame, I am continuously working on regulating myself in these moments so that I can help teach my children how to regulate themselves in healthy ways.
The start of a new year is a great time to reflect on the past, and think about how you want to evolve in the future. This COULD mean not planning for the year to come, and practicing present awareness and connection. I like to use this time for personal reflection and how I want to live with purpose.
Setting boundaries with our kids while also giving them space to explore, is always a tricky balance, for me anyway. I constantly toggle between wanting them to have the freedom to express themselves, and then feeling like I need to insert myself to teach respect, kindness, and right from wrong. Anyone else?
Last week was all about perfection and noticing if our motivation behind something being different (aka “better”) is a result of our conditioning toward perfection-seeking, or is it motivated by our true values. Let’s think about this in real life for a minute.
Let’s talk about perfection. Try as we might, letting go of the perfect body image, hair color, skin texture and tone, age, house, children, and family sometimes feels impossible. We are bombarded with images and messaging our whole lives that teach us what to strive for, or what we should look and act like. Social media has made these messages even more pervasive and damaging.
Isolation is what they call it when you contract COVID-19 and have to stay home. And that is what happened to my family a few weeks ago. The virus slowly made its way through our household and we were isolated together for a total of 14 days. To sum up the experience in 300 words in no easy feat. The lessons that came from isolation were powerful and life altering, to say the least.
Last week we talked about rest. When I give myself permission to rest, I realize how much incredible connection happens with my family. The “boredom” and the togetherness with no agenda and no distractions has so much to offer.
With children, there is a closeness, a connection that starts to happen when we are simply together. We laugh, we cuddle, we share and talk to one another about things that just come up in our minds. We grow so much closer.
Do you ever feel that your sense of purpose and accomplishment comes from being busy and productive? And when you are “lazy”, you feel guilty about it? This week, let’s prioritize rest.
Halloween inspired this week’s blog. It is fun to get into costume and take on a different identity. But not so much in our everyday lives. Let’s think about authenticity for a minute. There is so much information out there about what to say in every scenario to help blossom a happy and healthy child.
Do you ever find yourself in conversation with people, or reading social posts or the news, and getting defensive about your perspective on the topic? I think this is most of us, especially with the many divides we are facing as a culture.
Having a growth mindset helps us navigate challenges without feeling like if we fail, that is the end and we need to give up. Easier said than done, especially if you are repeatedly told you need to be different, act different, or behave differently.
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Since when did social-emotional learning become about calming our anger and quieting our feelings? It’s hard to find the balance when we need our homes and/or classrooms to be peaceful environments, but we don’t want to send the message that anger or big emotions are not okay and suppress them. SEL is about recognizing our emotions so we can take care of ourselves, with kindness and acceptance.
Finding balance is not easy. Our culture values efficiency, productivity, and being busy, so when we are not feeling super motivated we might be labeled as lazy (I am SO guilty of this mind trick!). This can leave us with feeling guilty when we want to rest, take a nap, or watch t.v. in the middle of the day.
Acceptance. Calling all perfection seekers! Perfection seeking as parents, as teachers, as humans, is the opposite of accepting. When we seek perfection, we tend to be more judgmental towards others, even if we keep those judgments to ourselves. This includes JUDGING OUR KIDS and STUDENTS for expressing themselves, challenging us, and showing their emotions, especially when they trigger us. Judgment is human. We can recognize judgment and then find acceptance. For me, challenging behavior and big emotions has been a …
Self-efficacy is a personal judgement of how well or poorly a person is able to cope with a given situation. Too much of a controlled environment as a child can result in low self-efficacy. Instead, we want to build the space for kids to try and fail, and learn that failure is a part of life and human nature (I am working on re-learning this EVERY SINGLE DAY).
Mindfulness with Kids I am a firm believer that you need to have a practice in order to teach a practice. We can tell kids to take deep breaths in the heat of an emotional breakdown, but if we don’t know how to stop and take a deep breath ourselves, it just won’t be as effective in helping the child (and yourself!) truly regulate. The first time I truly connected with myself I was 24 years old. Before that, I …
Quiet. Talk talk talk. I LOVE to talk, but have learned the importance of silence, so I can listen better and really connect. Who can relate to this scenario; being a child and your parents trying to constantly talk to you, but you don’t feel like it. You don’t feel like sharing or opening up. You roll your eyes and respond with minimal detail. And yet we do the SAME thing that annoyed us to our own kids. WHY?! Let’s …
Welcome to Adulthood It all started when I became a mom…the triggers. I didn’t realize how much suppressed emotion I was living with until I had my own kids. Or was it my age, 30’s are INTENSE. My name is Lee, I founded Kind Mind because of the work I did in my own life to feel happy, and the commitment I had to not repeat patterns that were harmful to me as a child. I am the middle child, …